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Pissed Off
Wednesday, October 10, 2001 - 3:03 PM


[Marty]

SuperGreg is number one!
Sunday, October 7, 2001 - 2:04 PM

Well, I'm finally home! Phew. It's been a while hey? I was supposed to be updating about my time around the vacation I took around inland Australia, but instead, I've gotta tell a story about this shindig I witnessed in Port Douglas this morning.

You see, every Sunday in Port, there is a market where people gather together and put together little shops and they sell arts and crafts kind of crap. With a didgeridoo here and there. Off to one corner, accross from the shrunken voodoo heads made by some psycho aboriginal guy with Coconuts, there is a big tree. And underneath this tree, this is where the story begins. Under the tree there are the begger type people. They have nothing to sell, but they want your money anyway. So what they do is play an instrument and expect you to give them your spare change. You know how it is. But this Sunday, something different emerged.
"No molesta!" Only Teedo would understand that one...
A man. A man unlike any other man. For you see, this man was making a statement. What he was saying so us was "I want your money, but I'm not even gonna play a friggin' instrument for you." So he stood there. Dressed in ratty clothes that he appeared to rub mud all over. He painted his face and stood on a block with a little money dish in front of it. And then, he did nothing. He stood there. Not moving a muscle. Like one of those stupid guard people from England. He stood there. And no matter what you did to him, he did not move. Well actually, I discovered that by reaching for his money dish, he flinched a little. But all this aside, I took a few photos and called it a day. An hour later I came back to find him gone. I looked around for him and saw him sitting on a bench with one of those statue Ronald McDonald things drinking a Coke. It seems this guy REALLY likes statues... Just use your imagination little boys and girls... Oh yeah, I also saw some cool guy with a T-Shirt that said this...

EAT
IT
ALIAN


[Marty]

A quick word or two...
Monday, October 1, 2001 - 5:39 PM

I only have 2 minutes and 50 seconds to type this... so here goes. I am at the Oasis resort in Cairns. I've been spending the last week all over inland Australia... Seen so many things. I have lots to upload, But I can't do any of that until I get home. And I'm heading to Fitzroy island for three nights tomorrow... So I'll be a while. I'll fill you all in on the full happenings when I have more time. That's all for now.
[Marty]

A couple thoughts
Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 4:02 PM

Well, I haven't updated lately, so I figured I'd best be doing that now. Although, I don't really have anything to report. Also, I'm writing this on Thursday the 20th, but it says down there that I wrote the last note on thursday 16th! How can we gain a week in only four days? A mystery nobody could possible answer without a calander. Chances are I messed the date up today. Or last time. Whatever, I don't care if you don't. I also realised that I'm only sixteen yet I've lived in 3 decades! Weird hey? 80's, 90's and um... 00's. My buddy Chad's got a cool website in the works with some mates of his. Check it here. I guess that's all for now. Oh yeah, I upped the movie from the party, but on test screens I decided it concentrated too much on my little Jessica. So I took it down and I'm reworking it now... should be done by the weekend...
[Marty]

Nothing to see here...
Thursday, September 16, 2001 - 5:00 PM

I was beginning to suspect the aussies were trying to get me drunk...
Ugh... I'm having trouble remembering what happened lastnight at Rosie and Sam's birthday party (they're twins. Hence the same birthday). Fortunately, Sam had the brilliant idea that I should videotape the whole thing. So being the intellegent, good looking young guy I am, I brought it along with me. Filmed almost every minute of it. It's amazing, the next morning, watching myself last night doing things I do not have any recolection of doing. It was a fairly innoccent affair, nobody did anything they would regret. I made sure to keep Jess under constant survailance. I also discovered that mister big guy, Simon is all talk when it comes to booze. Apparently he spews at every party. And lastnight was no exception.
"I think I've been drinking too much apple juice."
Among the cowboy hats, country music, tight pants, and leather shoes, I discovered something. Cowboys are ghey. With a capital H. And also, Vegemite is stupid. I got beaten up repeadedly lastnight for saying these things, but I can say it with confidence now because there's no one here to get me. The only guy there who wasn't in a big country ghetto costume was Martin.au (aussie Marty). So I respect him for that. I'll edit this video around and hopefully upload it by tomorrow.
[Marty]

Why do I bother?
Thursday, September 14, 2001 - 8:47 PM

A completely irrelevant picture of Australian cheese. "The Original Coon Taste"
Well, my dad's asleep and my mum's hogging the TV watching some gay movie when I wanted to watch some cool cop movie. The name escapes me. I'm pretty bored right now so I may as well update my website right? Well lately I've been thinking... about the world... about girls.... about my website. Mostly about girls. But anyway, I noticed that although I update my website usually a couple times a week, I hardly ever do anymore than type something in the news section here. I haven't uploaded new movies since the beginning of the year, and I don't even have any pics up yet. Sheesh, I'm lazy that way. I also started wondering why I even bother with a website that nobody's gonna see. I mean c'mon, how many times have you actually typed in 'eatmydingo.com' to see if something was there? Psht. And anyway, this isn't even really a public page. Mostly for my friends here and back in Canada. But nobody at home even knows about it! So essentially, I go through all this trouble, making a nice layout, upping cool movies, updating every other day, and yet nobody even sees it. And yet I'm still satisfied with doing it! I can't understand it. It's like writing a magazine that nobody reads. Or making a TV show that nobody watches. Yet since I don't rely on this website for my income, I can't get cancelled or go broke. I'd never imagine putting ads on my website, especially after all the hard work I've put into making the free banners dissapear from view. Anyway, as I mentioned, since nobody comes here anyway, advertisements wouldn't make any difference because there's be nobody to click them. So those are my thoughts for today, if anyone sees this, drop me a line. I'm lonely.
[Marty]

America under attack...
Thursday, September 12, 2001 - 9:51 PM


If you don't already know, you must have been living on Mars for the past few days. In a cave. With your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears. This isn't the place to be finding out... Go to cnn.com to learn more. My heart goes out to the friends and families of the injured or killed from this monumental incident. All I can do from here is sit by the warm television set and watch for updates. Although I'm not American, it still feels very close to home. I think all of us are feeling a little bit of "If they can hit the US, they can hit anywhere." Since I heard, I've been feeling rather queasy. I've been looking around at all these Australian people who see this on the news and just go by their day as usual. Of course to them, it's just another terrorist attack in some far-off world. I suppose it would make sense that it affects me more. Once again, my condolences to everyone affected. Revenge will be ours.
[Marty]

Yesterday's post...
Saturday, September 8, 2001 - 1:21 PM

Yeah so last night I made a rather alarming post... It just goes to show what so much Tylenol does to your brain at 2 in the morning. I took down the post and I'll try to go to bed at a reasonably hour from now on...
[Marty]

www.eatmydingo.com officially open
Sunday, August 26, 2001 - 1:02 PM

Well how do you like that? After nearly six months my domain name has finally been put though by namezero.com! They said it would take six weeks, which is pretty frikkin' long anyway, but six months??? It all happened a week ago when I emailed them telling them how dissapointed I was with their service. The *BOOM* a day later my domain's up. Jeez. To punish them, I made their banner at the bottom of this page go away. I also thought that my site was a little crowded, so I moved all of my old news posts into a 'news graveyard' if you will. Click below to check that out.
[Marty]

Another perfect woman?
Sunday, August 26, 2001 - 1:02 PM



No, she's not Amanda, but I know her... Yeah you heard me. She actually lets me talk to her.... Man I'm such a loser. It doesn't matter though, because it's not like anybody's ever gonna read this anyway. And I promise...pictures of Amanda... real soon. I keep forgetting to bring my camera to school...
[Marty]


Perfect woman found?
Tuesday, August 21, 2001 - 8:23 PM

Just thought I'd let everyone know, I found god's ideal form of perfection and her name's Amanda. I'll have some pictures of her tomorrow, so don't miss out...
[Marty]


Application at www.psx2.com
Thursday, August 16, 2001 - 1:42 PM

This isn't perticularly interesting information for anybody but me, but I have applied for a job at psx2.com. Probably won't get it because thousands of people apply for those, but it's worth mentioning that I did it I guess... And if you are the guy in charge of hiring people and you got here from my application email, have a look around and enjoy yourself. That's all for today.
[Marty]


Human Experiment cancelled...
Wednesday, July 25, 2001 - 3:22 PM

Well, it was bound to happen, but I was expecting it to end differently. My experiment has been cancelled. My buddy Jess was upset with me because I was being stupid, so I started eating again for her... Oh well. There's gotta be something else I can do for an experiment. I'll let you people know when I've thought of one.
[Marty]


Human Experiment, Day 3
Monday, July 23, 2001 - 4:41 PM


You know, I actually notice a difference already? They say the first day is the hardest and they sure were right. I haven't eaten in three days and I'm not even hungry! I notice that my tummy is a bit smaller than I remember it to be, but I still have a fair bit to go. No worries though, I'm off to a good start.
[Marty]


Human Experiment, Day 2
Sunday, July 22, 2001 - 12:03 PM


Nothing to report, my tummie's still the same size, but my hair's blue. And I bought one of those annoying little lazers that are banned from Canadian Schools.
[Marty]


Website owner becomes human experiment...
Thursday, July 19, 2001 - 11:03 PM


Lately, I have become a little round around the edges, as you can see here. I am doing an art project in the coming months which will require me to loose as much weight as I can in two weeks so I can make a proper plaster mold of my tummy. So I decided to do a little human experiment, and document the whole thing on my website! I will not eat one single thing, no macaroni, no cereal, no sharp pointy things, no nothing. I will be living for the next two weeks on nothing but water, grapefruit juice and vitamin pills to keep me not dead, while every day placing an update to my condition with new photo's. At the end, I will do a summary and make some funky "Before and After" pics. Just like on those dumb 'Ab-roller' or whatever type ads. It's gonna be a very interesting two weeks, so keep your face glued to my site, and if I suddenly stop updating, I'm probably either too weak or dead.
[Marty]


Big Brother Winner!!!
Tuesday, July 17, 2001 - 5:01 PM


That's it, it's all over. Big Brother Australia finally has a winner! From left to right, Sarah Marie, show host Gretel, the winner Ben, and runner up Blair. The grand prize was $250 000. The way it worked was that on monday night, the winner was announced and the runner up Blair left the house for the usual interview with Gretel, while Ben stayed in the house for about 30 extra minutes to collect his thoughts. And when the time came, Big Brother came on the loud speaker and said, "Ben, you may now leave the house." So taking one last look at his home of three months, Ben opened the door, and walked out into the croud of thousands of fans.
For more info, head to www.bigbrother.com.au.
[Marty]


Big Brother update
Sunday, July 15, 2001 - 10:17 PM


After being nominated six times, Sarah Marie has finally been evicted from the Big Brother house, leaving behind a legacy of bum dancing and bunny ears. Remaining in the house for 24 hours are the two boys, Ben and Blair. Tomorrow night the final eviction will take place and one of them will leave with $250 000. Who will it be? You decide.
For more info, head to www.bigbrother.com.au.
[Marty]


Big Brother update
Thursday, July 12, 2001 - 7:59 PM


Say hello to Blair from the Australian Big Brother. Lately he's been sleeping in too late and missing out on Big Brother's hour of hot water which he turns on at 9am every morning. So Blair's come up with his own way of doing things. Nothing like that good ol' Australian enginewity.
There are only three people left in the Big Brother house, including Blair here, there is also the infamous Sarah-Marie, and of course, our Benny boy.
For more info, head to www.bigbrother.com.au.
[Marty]


Where the bloody hell have I been?
Wednesday, July 11, 2001 - 6:22 PM

Well, it's back to school for us Aussies. We've been on a two week between-term holiday thing lately, so i have had plenty of time to update the website. Yes, I did have plenty of time, but no, I still didn't get around to doing anything. What can I say? I'm lazy.
Oh, broke up with Christie. Feel great.
[Marty]


The best things in life are about $3,599.95 (new iBook)
Saturday, June 15, 2001 - 2:56 PM

Okay, yes so my birthday is over, but that doesn't mean you have to stop sending me money! I still accept whatever little money you want to give me all year round people so don't put those checkbooks away so soon. Help support the website or something. Send me money.
[Marty]


Just a little reminder....
Saturday, June 2, 2001 - 4:51 PM

I just thought I'd take this time to remind you all that my birthday is in ten days. I accept cash, check, and money through PayPal
[Marty]




Almost ready for the grand opening...
Thursday, May 24, 2001 - 4:13 PM

A lot has happened since my last update. A girl named Tina won a million dollars, I uploaded some movies, and made some new pages. I'm getting so close I can almost taste it... But I'm still not done yet.... I will soon be adding the final pages I haven't done yet, making the layout graphics more elaborate, and fixing the problem I currently have with geocities. Come back in about a week or so, and you will see a whole new me...
[Marty]



Save us god... Marty has a new website...
Wednesday, March 21, 2001 - 11:22 PM

Well lookey here. I promised everyone that I would return to the net after that tragic day on which my old website, www.FFGAMES.com was hacked into and entirely deleted by some little punk (who you can email here). And now, here I am! To tell the truth, there are still a lot of bugs that I haven't quite worked out yet with the new layout, and I'm in the middle of uploading the movies and pictures... so there really isn't all that much you can do yet. But I have a dream... you will see. This will be the most perfect website in the world but I probably won't have it the way I like it until I leave Australia this December (damn). So until It's finished, just sit back and drool at the shear beauty of this gorgeous layout. Special thanks goes out to scottith for the idea. [Marty]


Welcome to my site. Take off your pants and jacket and stay awhile?

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